haiz...almost like faint at school..body like sooo warm x.x go home only tio nag by aunt say 'u caused ur father trouble leh dont you even feel sorry for him?' i alrdy felt sorry for him since i was first go to school. everyday im my past life all i can see is my father protecting me from getting hurt thats what i see but...this is only i see.. useless in the present world...was never first born... its always like that... i see so much...so much hate... i cant really hold on anymore...
todae when i got home i went to bed from 2.30-6.08pm. woke up and went to pc and saw shan's msn and he told me 'my fwen told me that you stole her bf from her' i was like NO I DIDNT i just recovered a lil and that subject just came back again WTH!!! was online in msn till late then kept pming shan at msn / ingame also..he wont reply to me...he said he was irrirated whenever i call him.. i thought...'is this the end of our relationship? if u are irriated then i'll be hurt...i can't lose you...' thats what i thought then i cried..
you know what? maybe i shld not ever been born..i shldnt be even existing ever...even own family would like to hate me i dont have anyone except shan now! i wanted to tell him that but..i couldn't.. i felt like running away from what i am now... i feel like tearing myself apart...till it hurts so much..its like stabbing a infinite knifes in me... from head to toe...
i needed someone...someone i could trust so much...that person would trust me alot.. but... i dont think i could find anyone with that trust...
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