Some day..[31 March 2007, Saturday]

haiz... still the same...i waitin for shan to come back but i don't think he would T.T kinda heart break haiz... whenever i think of the last thursday which was the last day i've seen his face i cried haiz i think for like hours cant control it T.T then i go hug the teddy i continue to cry T.T people in auditionsea ask me if i ok or not i told them i crying lolx then they ask y i crying i said 'cuz... i want nlb back i dun wana break wit him T.T' liddat...

still bad day for me haiz... ii <3 shan and i want him back...BADLY T_T

Worst day ever...[30 March 2007 , Friday]

haiz...almost like faint at school..body like sooo warm x.x go home only tio nag by aunt say 'u caused ur father trouble leh dont you even feel sorry for him?' i alrdy felt sorry for him since i was first go to school. everyday im my past life all i can see is my father protecting me from getting hurt thats what i see but...this is only i see.. useless in the present world...was never first born... its always like that... i see so much...so much hate... i cant really hold on anymore...

todae when i got home i went to bed from 2.30-6.08pm. woke up and went to pc and saw shan's msn and he told me 'my fwen told me that you stole her bf from her' i was like NO I DIDNT i just recovered a lil and that subject just came back again WTH!!! was online in msn till late then kept pming shan at msn / ingame also..he wont reply to me...he said he was irrirated whenever i call him.. i thought...'is this the end of our relationship? if u are irriated then i'll be hurt...i can't lose you...' thats what i thought then i cried..

you know what? maybe i shld not ever been born..i shldnt be even existing ever...even own family would like to hate me i dont have anyone except shan now! i wanted to tell him that but..i couldn't.. i felt like running away from what i am now... i feel like tearing myself apart...till it hurts so much..its like stabbing a infinite knifes in me... from head to toe...

i needed someone...someone i could trust so much...that person would trust me alot.. but... i dont think i could find anyone with that trust...

29 March 2007, Thursday

lolx todae almost had myhand cut js cuz of Desgin n Tech thing lolx..Then err during youth program period [YP] mr. leonard come my place there ask me "what happened to you? you tired ar? or are you sick? why did you come to school sick?" i replied " i not sick js that head spinning and feeling giddy" lol then he sae "orh" n walk off oO.

after school that time ar shan go and call my hp say that he coming my hse lolx..then i below blk le wait for him. u behind me go sae 'aye u very wu liao leh why not go upstair wait?' i sae ' cannot wait for u downstairs ar' he said 'cannot' i asked why he js sae becuz cannot LOL.!!!

haha...everything went well...until tonight...xia0pumpkiin n raveaddicted from audisea like accused me wth -.-" then after that head spin till like wana burst le x.x" then few hr later some pervert from pangyasea contact me jus tto say sorry -_-" but all i hear is rubbish lolx...

tmr last day of week but worst day of the week x.x i hate choir everyone hates me -_-"

28 March 2007 , Wednesday

lolx todae ar...after assembly at hall going bak to class that time form teacher showed me the world war 2 journey outting photo that i took at that time photo of whole class tio guru destroy _l_ somemore that use money to develope de leh [money comes from human blood -_-"]

after ET, i like drink water frm water bottle ar its like theres no water in my inernal organs then felt more like throwing up -.-"[after ET i go up class straight to rest lolx cant go down and buy food]. went to sickbay then after that abit giddy almost PUKE!! my father came to fetch me home than at lift there all he did is nag at me rather then worry about me -.-" siao leh lolx took nap from 2-4pm for rest then wake up head spinning like like duno what ._."

ehs auditionsea i passed lis with a x7 without chance. something so weird, when i chance [c-mode] i cant even perf when i didnt chance[c-mode] i can perf like siao i wonder why neh LOL

27 March 2007, Tuesday

ahh...still bo mood lolx... had to ignore some people =.=ll good thing sitting partner nv ask me smile or esle i go angry confirm -.-" talked to form teacher about certain stuff err... skipped cca cuz got tummy pain n cold. todae lessons sux la...always tio scold no time to study -.-" liddat i no guarentee i go into NA nia... sigh...

hehez was able to relax after i came home..stiff bones like so stretched now like very err..comfortable :P

oh ya i managed to do this pic :

hehe its title is 'minshan' which is in auditionsea xD

and this guy js caled me at 9.45pm ++ he wan patch but he keep say lies zz sian he idiot nia...

26 March 2007, Monday

todae ar..damned pissed by some topid classmates of mine.. all like to fight nia somemore this guru ar say others cute i like 'black sh!t'. i tell you this people are pretty in their own ways not by their looks but by the person in them.

tio pissed after school also, found my umbrella that was missing in the morning, was placed under someone esle's table -_-" was like WTF.

during class sitting partner keep take my teddy come play with it LOL almost confiscated by mdm low [our form teacher].

Forget to bring CPA books wtf... pissed more nia lolx!!


anyway, was able to dl all pack [1-3] of sau songs xD now is patch 6013-19 i think[downloading now].

25 March 2007, Sunday

Todae was quite fun cuz was able to see my dar again ^^ then we did lots of stuff like play around n stuff lolx..about tmr 26 march 2007 i dun wan go school!! very sian will get bullied again =.=